I can't control my monster

I'm standing in my own shadow. I suppose I should explain that because unless you're smarter than I give you credit for, then you're probably sitting there, scratching your perfectly-conditioned scalp with a look of confusion on your foundation-covered face. I could look at this from a deep humanistic point of view, or perhaps I could go the scientific root and do the whole "blame genetics" thing, but I won't. Got keep your audience in mind, right? You're pretty dumb, so I'll keep this simple, very simple. I don't like getting hurt. I hate not living up to other people's expectations of me. Both of those things are pretty damn hard to avoid so me being my wonderfully resourceful self, I created an alter ego. A fast-talking, all-knowing, pretentious, condescending, alter ego. Just to, you know, keep me safe and all that jazz. My other self, it kept my inside in and the outside out, just the way I wanted it to. Like all other sesons, the season of the alter ego drew to an end. I didn't need protection from the harsh and unforgiving world; I wasn't so fragile anymore. I was eager for my ego to get lost. But it wasn't ready to leave and it's still here and so am I -- just waiting to step out of my own shadow. Got it? Good. Don't got it? Well, I guess you really freakin' suck, huh?