college applications = stress

I've decided to apply priority to the University of Maryland College Park in the fall. American University is just far too costly and I think I'd be happier at a larger school. Chances of me getting into UMCP are 50/50: my SAT scores are on par, but my GPA is a bit below the average. My only hope? An excellent essay and great recommendations.

cinquain # 1

writing is expression that is the voice of my heart it makes me feel free and understood freedom

rain washes it all away

grass was wet underfoot after the rain fell

tetracty #1

time is my enemy but it won't win because not a thing will stand in my way

over the pavement and through the slums, part two

I inhaled and stepped to the edge, sending several rocks plummeting. It was a full minute before I heard them find their resting place. There was nothing I wanted to do more than turn around and run nonstop for where I came. But then you came to mind. I knew I'd catch hell from you if I showed up there again. I knew I didn't want to go back there any more than you wanted me to come back. That did nothing to keep the contents of my stomach from vacating my body. After my breif illness, I settled into a state of englightenment. My only choice was to shed my fear and plummet into the vast unknown of the world below. It was my one and only choice, so it wasn't so much of a choice. I took three deep breaths and let them go one after the other, : one was for strength, one was for stability, and one was for good measure. As I cautiously toed the line between the here and now and the unknown, I cursed you under my breath. Even as I defamed your name in this fear-filled moment, I loved you more than ever. I would have never made it here on my own. Even though I knew I needed this. I threw my body to the winds and fell like a limp ragdoll.

$0 1'm 4 933|{, wh0'Ð h4v3 7hµn|{ 17?

The Deviant Geek You answered 80% of the questions as a geek truly would.

You're a geek and you know it. You've got all sorts of fringe hobbies and socially unacceptable tendencies. Chances are, whenever possible, you hate to be grouped with other people and sometimes go out of your way just to be different. You're smart too. You're more willing to depend on your own brainpower to solve problems, instead of relying on others to pull you through life. You probably read a lot, and generally enjoy learning new things. So what's it all mean? You may be considered by some to be uncool, but you probably don't care either. In social situations you may be either slightly passive or slightly loud (geeks always fall into the extremes). In a nutshell, you answered enough questions correctly supporting a geek philosophy to be considered a more potent geek than 60% of the population.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 76% on geekness

Link: The True Geek Test written by ambientred on Ok Cupid

it's just an illusion caused by the world spinnin' round

it that once brought me sorrow now brings me great joy for you see, even the brightest of feilds fall prey to darkness i migrate with the sun and this i find my joy

laughter is the best medicine

Icky bitterness! Chewing asprin comands these funny faces.

a rolling stone gathers no moss

Hello good sir! Can you please point me in the direction of the road to enlightenment?

cooking is harder than it looks

Life is an onion: if you peel away the layers, I promise you'll cry.

over the pavement and through the slums

Last night as I walked through the sad and lonely streets of our town, I thought I saw you. You were sitting in a corner in front of the liquor store, sipping from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Even with a black hood pulled over your head and only your yellow-green eyes showing, I knew at once it was you. (Your eyes have always had a way of looking through me and making me feel cold.) I shivered and walked up to you and you told me to turn my back and run from this place before it killed me. And once I got where I was going, never to look back. I told you I wasn't much of an athlete and you said it didn't matter. I had to go. So I took off running, my feet pounding against mile after mile of pavement, my muscles aching with the struggle. Running past the homeless, speeding past crackhouses, tearing past mothers who cried for their dead children, and children who cried for their jailed mothers. Even though my mind raced, my heart cried out, and my body throbbed, and my lungs were raw, I did what you told me. I kept running until I was out of the slums. I stopped and placed my hands upon my knees and stared at the ground beneath my feet as I caught my breath. When I looked up, what I saw made my heart skip a beat. I was standing at the edge of eternity and it was a long way down.

i was born to be a painter

blue to black black to red red to green green to orange orange to yellow and back to blue. welcome to my world where colors fade and colors swirl day in and day out just like drowning in a kaleidoscope. I will take these colors and make my own delightful world. one with the bluest of skies and in the greenest of pastures glorious red flowers will dance in the wind beneath the brillantly burning yellow-orange sun. in my world I will find solace with the knowledge that beauty lies within insanity.

sorry, I don't know enough words to help

I'm in that awful place of having stumbled upon something that could quite possibly be profound (in my own little world) and for various reasons, being unable to express it. If it weren't so frustrating, it'd be quite comic.

take these thoughts, child and run toward the dawn

i will take my life & i will make it endless. every moment will last forever & not a second shall be wasted. of course, there will be mistakes & yes, there will be regrets. these things they will not stop me & i will go on living

order now - no money down!

Gather 'round folks! I've got a great new product! It'll change your lives! In this little bottle right here I've got the one thing that you need to be successful - motivation! Inspiration and good intentions are nothing without the motivation to make them reality. That's right! Motivation is a true wonder drug; it'll help you get those SAT scores, get into that college, and live the life you've always wanted! If there had been a product like this when I was young - boy oh boy! Supplies are limited! I'll tell ya' what! You get your motivation right now and I'll throw in some free tenacity! The sooner you get your motivation, the sooner you can change your life - so whatcha waiting for?

think back to a simpler time

The best shirt ever.

it's cold here; you must go

The truest of my thoughts rain down upon this page like tears upon my cheeks when I fall upon the realization that life is not a piece of cherry pie. I cannot carve it as I wish. I can not enjoy some now, and save a little for later. It is not up to me to make these decisions. I fling my body like a leaf into the winds of fate and mercy hoping that I will be carried to some beautiful and distant island. There I will live alone in the wilderness, sleeping beneath the stars, dancing amongst the wolves. As I run with my pack, I will let out a howl - with the hope that it shall reach your deafened ears.

the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts

greatness is a formula: inspiration + motivation = greatness inspiration + (-motivation) = sorrow sorrow + inspiration = motivation motivation + inspiration = greatness

do you believe in magic?

Joy & rapture! I've just purchased my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blod Prince! I'll admit that I haven't exactly been on the edge of my seat since I finished book five. It was just far too dark and depressing for my personal tastes. However, as the release date for book six grew closer and the hype surrounding it grew larger, I got more and more excited. After a restless night and a hurried brunch, I headed to my local Borders. When I arrived at around 1:30 pm, it was nothing short of pure bedlam. Children running through the store clutching their books, speculating over who the half-blood prince is, book store employees attempting (in vain) to corral those who have not yet purchased their books to the front of the store so that they could recieve a ticket. Those, like myself who had not pre-ordered were given a plain ticket, which doubled as a bookmark, while those who had purchased their copies in advance were handed a ticket emblazoned in gold lettering with the word "PREORDER." After making my way to the front of the store and waiting in line for a few minutes, I finally recieved my prize: the long awaited Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Along with the book and the ticket, I was given a coupon for 30% off any Borders or Waldenbooks purchase, and a small card listing Harry Potter related literature. While a little hectic, the experience of buying a Harry Potter book on the release date definitley adds to the magic. Now on to the part I've really been waiting for: finding out who the half-blood prince is!

somewhere between the sacred silence & sleep

The end of next week will mark exactly 1/2 of my summer vacation being over. This is a slightly disconcerting thought because so far, I've managed to accomplish pretty much nothing. I've done no summer reading, gotten no letters of reccomendation, and I haven't even started working on my college applications. Not to mention I wanted to start studying for the October SAT and start doing some type of preliminary studying for BioAP because I don't remember much from Sophomore year. I've really got my work cut out for me these next six weeks:

1. Summer reading (all five books)
2. College applications
3. SAT & SAT II preparation
4. Brushing up on the basics of Bio
5. Back-to-School clothes shopping (mostly at CottonFactory.com!)
6. Back-to-School cleaning (room, domain, harddrive, etc.)

After I finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I'll start working on everything. I don't want to dig myself a rut before I begin. This year will be my last opportunity to get things right.

music - it holds my hand when no one else is there

My CD collection shall continue to grow! Most excellent! In May, I fell in love with a jem of a CD called If You're Feeling Sinister by a wonderful band called Belle & Sebastian. At first, it didn't seem like anything special, but the longer I listened, the deeper in love I fell. Yesterday, I indulged in my addiction and bought two Belle & Sebastian CDs. The first of which being Push Barman to Open Old Wounds: a collection of all seven of Belle & Sebastians EPs. Twenty-five songs for a mere $12.99. Yum! The second was The Boy with the Arap Strap: the band's third (and also -amazing-) LP. Belle & Sebastian is an excellent band to listen to while doing almost anything. Taking a walk, writing, pondering, and of course while laying in the tub just exsisting. They'll also make excellent tunes for studying next year when I'm up to my eyes in senior-year related stress. Now I'm just waiting for them to arrive.

expect not perfection, expect only mine best of efforts

It comes over me in waves, this desire to lift myself up from mediocrity. This wondrous feeling, this intellectual fulfillment. I strive and I try. Oh, how I try! Sometimes in vain. sometimes with beautiful results. Trying to find the words (oh, the elegant words!) That will set me free. Words that will bring me to my climax. Yet alas! I cannot find the words. I find only frustration and failure. My voice is not yet developed. Oh, how I hope practice makes perfect.

a secrect place to come to terms with a well known desire

My poetry now has a home.